Totclasses News Blog

In today’s encore excerpt, the ability to apprehend what seems to be going in someone else’s mind–what neuroscientists call mindsight:

“Consider the following well-established tests used in experiments on mindsight to chart a child’s progress:

“At about eighteen months, place a large mark on a baby’s forehead, then have her look in a mirror. Typically those younger than eighteen months will touch the mark on the image in the mirror; those older will touch their own forehead. The younger babies have not yet learned to recognize themselves. Social awareness requires that we have a sense of self, distinguishing us from others.

“Offer a child around eighteen months old two different snacks, such as crackers or apple slices. Watch which one the child prefers. Let the child observe you taste each of the snacks, as you exhibit clear disgust at the child’s choice and show a strong preference for the opposite choice. Then place the child’s hand between the two snacks and ask, ‘Can you give me one?’ Children younger than eighteen months will generally offer the snack they liked; older ones will offer the snack you preferred.

“For three- and four-year-olds, hide a treat somewhere in a room while this child and an older child watch. Have the older child leave the room. Then make sure the younger child sees you move the treat to a new hiding place. Ask the younger child where the older child will look for the treat when he comes back into the room. Four-year-olds will usually say he will look in the original hiding place; three-year-olds will guess the new place. Four-year-olds have realized that someone else’s understanding can be different than their own, a lesson the younger ones have not yet grasped.

“The last experiment involves three- and four-year- olds and a hand puppet called Mean Monkey. You show children successively several pairs of stickers, and for each pair Mean Monkey asks which sticker the child wants. On every round Mean Monkey chooses for himself the child’s preferred sticker, leaving the other for the child. (That’s why he’s called Mean Monkey.) By around age four, children ‘get’ Mean Monkey’s game and quickly learn to tell him the opposite of what they really want–and so end up with their desired sticker. Younger children typically don’t understand the puppet’s mean intention and so innocently continue telling the truth, never getting the sticker they want. …

“As growing children master these social lessons … their empathy approaches that of an adult. With this maturity, part of innocence ends.”

Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence, Bantam, 2006, pp. 135-6.

“Bullies and Bystanders: Beware”  

SocialSmarts™ Declares War on Bullies
Social Skills Crucial Factor in Academic Achievement

 

New York Metro/Greater Seattle, WA, – May 7, 2008 – While repeated studies conducted by Harvard University, Stanford Research Institute and the Carnegie Mellon foundation have shown that 85% of our future success depends on social skills, today another study has helped prove it directly affects our academic success, too.

According to Education Week (“Reading First Doesn’t Help Pupils ‘Get it’”) is disappointing, but hardly surprising. According to the federal Reading First Impact Study just released, the $1 billion-a-year program has shown little measurable effect on students’ reading comprehension, on average.
While many factors were listed in the report as potential contributors to this lack of real improvement, nowhere was the learning environment mentioned. And, therein lies the rub. The typical level of disruption and discipline issues in today’s classrooms has a major effect on student learning and academic achievement, and must be considered and addressed. Joshua will NEVER learn to read if Johnny doesn’t learn to sit down, be quiet, pay attention to the teacher, and respect what his classmates are saying!

“Spending more and more money on academic programs without effectively addressing the issue of classroom discipline is like throwing rocks in the Grand Canyon,” said Corinne Gregory, President and Founder of SocialSmarts™, the leading educational program dedicated to developing excellent social skills in kids of all ages — from tots to teens. SocialSmarts builds solid
foundations for learning and using appropriate social behavior and developing good character through its licensed curricula and managed classes in public and private schools.

Purely “academic” solutions by themselves don’t work. “If $1B a year is spent on a program that has exhibited little improvement, the government cannot afford NOT to fund social skills education, which would make EVERYTHING so much more effective,” Gregory suggests. “When schools implement our program for social skills education (www.SocialSmarts.com),
reading test scores increase as much as 20 points in one year. NCLB is a great concept, but the devil is in the details. You can’t substantially improve academic achievement if you don’t address the discipline problems in our classrooms today.”

But with teachers spending 20 - 30 - 40% or more of classroom time managing behavior, how do we really expect to improve our educational outcomes? Social skills education makes great strides in this area; schools that have implemented PoliteChild programs across the board have seem dramatic
increases in their test scores in the first year, and those improvements appear to continue as they remain on it.

And, there’s an even bigger problem related to not addressing social skills. Children today, on average, stand a one-in-four chance to being victims of school-based violence before they reach high-school. Beyond the obvious and immediate threat to our children resulting from bullying, harassment, and intimidation, students who are afraid to attend school or are anxious about what might happen once they get there will not be able to concentrate and participate on lessons and learning. We spend billions of dollars a year on anti-bullying initiatives, yet the problems not only continue, they are escalating, and occur in increasingly younger children. “We need to begin to look at solutions that truly prevent the onset of bullying and school-violence,” Gregory says, “not just look for better ways to manage the problem once it occurs. We can’t keep doing the same things over and over again, and hope for a better outcome.”

About The PoliteChild, Inc. The PoliteChild is the leading program dedicated to developing excellent social skills in children of all ages from toddlers to teens by building solid foundations for learning and using proper social behavior, developing good moral character, manners and etiquette through its licensed curricula and managed classes. The goal of The PoliteChild is to help parents, educators, and others develop young people with strong self-esteem and confidence, and that are socially comfortable and proficient in handling a large variety of social interactions and situations. The company is headquartered in Bellevue, WA, with a second main office in
Montclair, NJ. For more about The PoliteChild, visit the company website at www.politechild.com. Copyright(C)2008 The PoliteChild,Inc. All rights reserved.

For more information, please contact Lisa Finan at llfinan@aol.com or phone 973-809-1935.
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It’s a Jungle Out There!  Equipping our Children with Social Survival SkillsLisa Finan, SocialSmartsÔMay 03, 2008 Unless you’ve been living in a cave the last few weeks, you are certainly all too aware of the horrific images of violent school-based incidents constantly playing in every possible media outlet.  Teens luring a cheerleader classmate to a home and beating her repeatedly while the video camera rolls; a teacher being assaulted in her classroom by students; a high-schooler throwing a metal chair at another in class knocking the victim unconscious; a 13-year middle schooler who admits that he planned to shoot up his school because he was being bullied. But what is even more worrisome than these events is that they are occurring in children that are increasingly younger in age!  Just a few weeks ago, third graders were caught planning to blow up their school, and children as young as kindergarten are harassed, abused, and tormented.  This epidemic also doesn’t discriminate: girls are just as likely to be involved as boys, and it crosses all socio-economic and cultural boundaries. When our children today, on average, stand a one-in-four chance to being victims of school-based violence before they reach high-school, we parents need to do something to help our children survive the war zones our classrooms and schoolyards have become. First, ask why?Before we can find effective solutions to the problem, we have to ask ourselves why it exists in the first place.  While many people jump to place blame on divided households, families with multiple workers outside the home, cultural differences, de-emphasis on religion, socio-economic inequity and more, none of these “causes” really address the underlying problem.  For whatever reason, our kids are not coming to school – or to life – equipped with the social skills and character development that enables them to successfully navigate life’s challenges.  Many children today exist in a purely self-centered universe where they believe they are somehow entitled to “their fair share” and more, and that if it’s ok with them, it should be fine for the rest of the world. 

Babies are born being completely ego-centric little beings, and they must be so at first in order to survive.  But, as they grow, children need to learn that although they are the apples of their parents’ eyes, the sun doesn’t quite rise and set by them; there are other people in the world who are just as deserving of attention, care, and consideration as they are.  The popular practice over the last decade or so that has parents abandoning boundaries and rules in order to foster their child’s self-esteem has actually back-fired. Over time, children need to learn that it is important, sometimes critical, to put the needs and desires of others first before their own whims and wants.   “Treat others the way you want them to treat you,” also sometimes referred to as The Golden Rule, is the cornerstone of every good social skill, courteous behavior, and positive character element. While many people think these things are just “good manners,” in reality good social skills are much more. More than Just MannersWhile having decent manners are important, you have to understand that “manners” really refers primarily to outward behaviors.  But, to truly be successful in our personal interactions with others, we have to be sure that our intentions for those behaviors are in line with our actions. If we only “act” a specific way when it benefits us, – for example, by complimenting a boss we really can’t stand – we can be someone with perfectly proper behavior, yet still be a proper jerk. When we are truly motivated to be courteous and gracious to someone because we respect them and care about them as people, our entire demeanor conveys that we are a person of decent moral character as well as showing good conduct. For our kids, these skills are not just a “nice to have,” an add-on we “train” them in as we have time.  Repeated studies show that good social skills are the primary factor in a child’s future success, and are possibly even more important than popular factors such as education, socio-economic background, or the “who you know” network combined.  Think about it: it doesn’t matter how smart you are or where you come from, if you can’t get along with others, how successful do you think you’ll really be? And their Lives May Depend on It!Truly, the ability to successfully share space and interact with others is becoming a lost art. When popular media and mass marketing continually touts that “it’s all about you,” how do we operate as a community and not as disjointed islands of humanity? While we preach “political correctness,” the reality is that we tend to focus over-much on differences and not similarities.  The buzzword of the day is “tolerance,” and not “acceptance.” Is it a wonder that we stand so often as “us against them?” 

It is critical that we help our children learn to be a little more understanding, a little more patient, and a lot more compassionate with the people around them.  Maybe if we teach them that sometimes the best course of action during a disagreement is to simply admit there is no common ground and to walk away, we wouldn’t need so many counselors, mediators¼and downstream, legal defense!  If we became better at moderating our words and actions, we could avoid a conflict before it even got to that point.  Maybe our children would realize that it’s NOT OK to lure someone into a house and beat them up on camera to “get even” for a snarky remark posted on the Internet?  Even better, maybe they’d even appreciate that the snarky remark is often best kept to oneself. It’s not a lost cause – YET.  If enough people return to a way of thinking that emphasizes positive behavior and positive thinking, we can make a difference in our families, our schools, our communities.  We have an opportunity to make this a kinder, gentler world for our kids and their kids to grow up in.  Maybe one in which 25% aren’t headed to be a statistic.  I think we owe them that.  Teach them the three R’s (Reading, ‘Riting, and ‘Rithmetic) and then add those extras Rs –Respect, Responsibility, Reliability, — then we really have done everything we can to give them wings and set them free to be successful people ushering in the next generation. Lisa Finan is a SocialSmartsÔ  licensee, head of northeast business development, a wife and mother of two. She welcomes all comments and can be reached at llfinan@com.More information can be found on the company’s website at www.socialsmarts.com or www.politechild.com.     

This past Sunday, I had dinner with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in quite awhile. We used to hang out every couple of weeks or so, but lately it's been more like every few months. The reason can be described in two words: law school. Luckily, he was able to squeeze me in right at the end of his spring break--which he spent writing papers and working on homework--because otherwise, I don't think I would have seen him at all this semester. After all, finals are coming up... in May. "It's time to start studying," he told me. His classmates have been talking about it for a couple of weeks already, he said, much to my amazement. "Finals is a season, kind of like Christmas," he said. "It starts way too early, and it's extremely stressful."

According to this AP story, he's not alone in feeling that way. Four in ten college students say they "endure stress often," says a survey conducted for AP and mtvU. Almost one in five say they "feel it all or most of the time." Students report feeling lonely, depressed, anxious, and some express a desire to use alcohol or drugs to relax. Many feel guilty for any time not spent studying. The good news is the vast majority of students, even though they are stressed, feel pretty happy with their lives in general.

While this survey focused on students in higher education, I think its implications extend to students in the K-12 environment as well. Stress is definitely still a factor in lower grades, and it can have major effects on student motivation. On one hand, too much stress can completely paralyze and overwhelm students, resulting in feelings of frustration and depression, but a healthy amount of stress can also motivate students to work diligently and keep up with assignments. It's a delicate balance I think few students are able to master.

What do you think? Are students able to handle stress effectively, or are they completely overwhelmed? How much stress is too much, and what kind of effect does that have on student motivation?

The publishing world was shocked to learn that the gang-life memoir “Love and Consequences” was a fake. But even more startling was how that came to light.

The desire to hasten death is not uncommon among the terminally ill, but death doesn’t always come easily.

Women are less likely than men to get a recommendation for knee replacement, a Canadian study reports, even when they have the same symptoms.

Adding a moderate amount of alcohol to one’s diet may lower the risk of cardiovascular disease, especially for those in middle age.

Is it at all possible for cold water to cook faster than hot?

This story in the Rocky Mountain News is about one high school that decided to pay their students to take their state tests in order to increase attendance. Students received about $50 each total, $5 for each test they took and an additional $1 for good behavior. The result? They had almost 100 percent attendance.

At least as interesting as the story is the comments left at the end. The general consensus from commenters seems to be that giving incentives to take tests is a bad idea. There are a lot of interesting ideas down there, before the comments begin to deteriorate into personal attacks. Apparently, cash incentives are a very touchy subject.

Also, in the March 2008 issue of American Teacher, there's are two columns side-by-side, one written by a teacher who does not believe in cash incentives and the other by one who does. Both columns are well-written and address this issue in a thoughtful way, so I highly encourage you to read them. The only bad news is that to view the columns, you have to download the pdf version of the magazine, but like I said, for those who are following this issue, it's a worthy read. The columns are in the Speak Out section on page 4 of the download.